Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Of course I have a pirate flag
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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