On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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