i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
