i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
