he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
