a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
