good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
