Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
