her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
These tits shall not be calmed
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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