:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
