I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
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