so explain again why im purple
no
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
