Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
