we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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