Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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