is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
