he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
