69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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