It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
