what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
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It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
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So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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