Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
