just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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