I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
