Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
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