yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
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Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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