I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
She tied me up with her honor cords...
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
