Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
