He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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