She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
