im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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