i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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