Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
