Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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