he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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