I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
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Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
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Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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