im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
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