why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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