im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
