I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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