Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
