How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
