one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
