Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
