Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
