Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
