How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
