Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
My vagina is officially offended.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
