Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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