I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
