Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
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I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
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He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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