I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
