There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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