All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
