This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
