Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
