At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
