Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
