ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
