apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Randomize
