Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
even my farts smell like vagina
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
