You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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