Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Randomize
