The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
You took a bar mat shot.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
