O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
