it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
